Author Archives: ted

c50: Second Draft Outline and Bonus AI Discussion



Armed with a completed second outline, we return for our 50th episode! This episode begins with a summary of the key changes planned for our second draft. In the next script, we’ll be fully integrating voiceover from page 1 and streamlining the way we present lobbies and the exec. We’ll also be revising Zoya’s plotline to have better logic and more forward momentum. Lastly, we’ll be adding seven mini stories as interstitials, which will expand the scope of the book and hopefully enhance the feeling that the Constellation is a vast, lived-in world.

In the second half of the episode we have a Review the Future style off-the-cuff discussion of AI trends, the SAG AFTRA strike, and the impact of recent technological developments on the relevancy of our story.

c49: Script Draft 1, Beat 42



Script Content:
-Zoya and Csaba attend the Katallian service. They discover the portal door is locked and one way (but Ocean Songbird has a key). As early attendees they are drafted into a confession ritual.
-Meanwhile the priests discover an unauthorized conjuring, which leads them to find Cranium tied up.
-A struggle ensues in the church as Zoya and Csaba try to escape while the Katallian authorities try to stop them. Csaba uses the conjuring stone in a haphazard way that kills people. Zoya successfully escapes and declines to help Csaba, who is left behind.

Discussion:
-Why haven’t Zoya and Csaba attended a service like this before? Is it rare? Is it perhaps their actual initiation?
-How does the conjuring stone work? Is there a rule that Zoya understands Csaba does not? Ideally we are seeking a rule that causes Csaba to misfire with it (as opposed to not being able to make it do anything at all). The rule might stem from Katallian limits on conjuring or from the stone being a stock Constellation totem object. Does Zoya understand this rule because of her experience as a world creator, or because she gathered this information since she’s been on Katall, while Csaba failed to do so?
-Zoya’s dialogue as the elephant god assumes the children already grasp they’ve been tricked for their whole lives as opposed to just finding out about that moments before.
-Does Alltaf go through with its threat against Imerologia? What are the consequences to Zoya’s actions and do we even find out about them?
-Are we adequately setting up Zoya’s care for the Applonian children earlier in the script?
-How can we make the beginning and the ending echo each other?

c47: Script Draft 1, Beats 32-36



Another double episode with pages from both Ted and Jon.

Script Content:
– Richard and Alexis urge Zoya to take Tim’s deal at the Gaia awards
-Zoya is initiated into Alltaf
-Zoya witnesses Tim trying to force his way through the Alltaf lobby
-Richard and Alexis coach Zoya to have Tim complete the first task for her
-Zoya shows Applonia to the Alltaf reps
-Richard and Alexis coach Zoya to have Tim complete the second task as well

Discussion:
-How do we justify Zoya entering Katall during the next phase of the story, when she has been raised to be suspicious of bad contracts? Perhaps a combination of (a) Richard and Alexis are not of the same mind on this issue and one of them is more willing to compromise and (b) Alltaf has some kind of leverage over either Imerologia or Zoya’s art career that can be used to strong arm Zoya into taking on a great risk.
-We need to find somewhere to establish what Imerologia is exactly.

c42: Script Draft 1, Beats 18-21



Taking the job in Applonia, posing as an elephant-headed god, building a temple for Applewhite, planting a backdoor, failing to help the Applonian people, onward to Wang’s world. Discussion: being an elephant versus just being invisible, defining the pain settings in Applonia, the meaning of “portal rights”, the nature of Tim’s moral choice, whether this sequence should be expanded, avoiding redundancy in setting up the next trial.